Epiphany

Creativity in an altered state.
For many and none reasons I decided to give it a shot.
I sat down at the computer to work on the cover for our bar menu, and was strangely aware of every movement on the computer screen. Every line shift, every opacity change had a purpose and I knew it. I was so absorbed by the work that even the crappy refresh rate of moving zoomed in blurs didn't seem frustrating. I, me, Martyna, patiently waited for the lines to shift, for the color to change. The world outside of me started to melt away. I was in the zone, truly enjoying the process of creating, drawing, vector art.
As I was adjusting the font colors on the subtitle it hit me, I was working extremely slow. Even though I was making progress, really enjoying my work, that clock in my head kept ticking. Tic toc, tic toc. When are you going to get to the next thing? This was taking forever and I'd never get anything else done. Frustration soon tried to follow, because of course I've been taught all my life to work faster, get shit done faster, just so I can move on to the next thing faster, and then the next thing and the next.
And here's my epiphany, and I underline mine, because many have been here before me and this will not blow your mind as it did mine. When you get everything done faster, you'll get to the end faster. At the end you're dead... Getting there faster, with just fractions of memories because you were so focused on the finish line you didn't bother to notice your surroundings, is not really a good thing.
I think that's why long distance running has so much appeal. Sure the first four miles I spend planning the rest of my day, week even, but that's all I have in me because without an iPad making lists and filling up your calendar is not really that fun. So I don't even consider the first four part of the run, it's more like a pre-run cleanse. At around mile five is when the real running begins. I am in only one place at one time, with one foot on the ground feeling every pebble, and my eyes focusing on the ground, directing where my other foot will land. The only thing I search for is the jingle of the dog collars to make sure my buddies are still close.
Realization, however, is only step one. Sure, it might be a big leap to acknowledge that rushing through life only gets you faster to your grave, but it will take a whole different kind of bell to get me to salivate for the now and not in anticipation.
Wish me luck.

That Damn Horse!

Why is it so easy to fall off that stupid horse? Its not like I'm a beginner, just getting started. Yet, a couple of days off, and flying to the ground I go. What the hell?! What the hell do I do. My run on Saturday was wonderful. There were ups, there were downs, I laughed, I cried, and after taking a shower to wash off the stink I actually felt good. Sunday I went to a great power yoga class with Abbey which kicked my ass in a good way. I was on a roll. But then came Monday, stupid Monday. Instead of my scheduled run and yoga I went to sushi with the father in law and husband. Don't get me wrong, I love sushi not to mention my husband and his father, but it seemed to have thrown me into a downward spiral of unmotivation. So this was day two without a run.
Tuesday was a scheduled off day, so of course I capitalized on that, instead of making up for the missed Monday. I made it to the yoga class though not to feel completely useless with an honest intention to go running Wednesday. However, Wednesday came and went, and not only did I not run, I had wine and way to much TV. Yes, it wasn't gorgeous out, rather miserable really but not freezing by any means. Yet, there I was sitting at my kitchen table explaining to my husband that since the heat is out I can't go running. You know, because somehow those two things are related. Yea, I've yet to come up with exactly what running and house heat have to do with each other.
So there I went on slacking, being glued to the iPad, watching crap I should not be watching. Lying on the couch in front of the wood stove instead of running. Watching a movie instead of going to yoga, just so about half way through the movie guilt could engulf me so completely I wanted to get up and go running right then. Even still the couch's gravity told me that 9:30PM is no time to be running. This internal battle of motivation vs. laziness is exhausting. Why can't I just do, instead of overanalyzing why I shouldn't. The minute it is more than 48 hours since my last run all I can do is look for excuses, scanning my body from head to toe just to determine, that no, right now I will not be productive.
Today I will attempt to get back on and ride that sucker. I will ride it right into next week. No more days off until Tuesday, even if that means I run circles in my back yard or worse... go to the gym! Damn you horse! I will conquer you, you gnarly beast, and make you my bitch!

Here's the running plan for today, before I go to Power w.Kim at 6PM.

Yoga for Athletes? Hell YES!

        My Tuesdays have, until now, been reserved for Kim's Power 1 & 2, however because of some scheduling conflicts I couldn't make it at six. By scheduling conflicts I of course mean, I was late to work and forgot my yoga stuff. Instead I finally grew a pair and decided to go to the Yoga for Athletes class with Abbey at 7:30. One, she subbed for D'ana's Power class on Sunday, and her torturing ways seemed appealing and I also convinced Tanya to come with me, so I couldn't bail.

       Her torturing ways in D'ana's power class, apparently were just the tip of the iceberg. The asanas didn't change much in the yoga for athletes class, you just had to hold them longer, and do them more. Abbey, also seems to have a thing for three legged plank. Three legged plank with knee to chest, with knee to one elbow, with knee to other elbow, knee to forehead, back to three legged plank. Three legged plank. Three legged plank. I'd say, my core got a workout. The class isn't yoga hard, at least last night's class wasn't. Its strength hard, core hard, fucking plank hard. I hate plank, and it appears I am going to have to learn to love it. Stupid plank. Plank Plank Plank. I love plank.

Three legged plank.

     I know its only time before teeter-totter will be dominating my yoga life. I can feel it in my bones, as I shudder at the thought of it. I have a feeling I'll learn how to lift into a handstand from crow before I'll like teeter-totter.

Teeter-Totter

     I did love the ass kicking I got in Abbey's class, however, and will have to switch one of Kim's classes for the Yoga for Athletes class on Tuesdays. I will stick to Kim's Power class on Thursdays, as that's my running day, and I'm pretty sure I am not ready to do Abbey's kick my ass yoga right after running 8-10 miles... Maybe some day. Probably same day I'll feel  comfortable in a bikini... hahahahaha.